When success scares the sh*t out of us (even if we don’t know it)

We all love to talk about fear of failure. It’s everywhere—on your feed, in your self-help books, in those “you got this!” motivational quotes. But what if the thing actually holding us back isn’t failure at all? What if it’s success?

Yeah, that.

It sounds ridiculous at first, right? Why would anyone be afraid of getting what they want? Why would you work hard, dream big, manifest your goals, only to hesitate—or worse, sabotage—when things actually start to happen?

But here’s the plot twist most of us don’t see coming: success is terrifying when we’re not ready for who we have to become to hold it.

The Fear We Don’t Name

Unlike fear of failure (which screams loudly), fear of success whispers. It’s subtle, sneaky. It shows up as hesitation, procrastination, overthinking, even perfectionism. It wears a disguise that makes you think you’re “not ready” or that “now isn’t the right time.”

But underneath? There’s a belief that success might cost you something:

• Your time.

• Your relationships.

• Your freedom.

• Your identity.

• Your peace.

We don’t just fear the goal—we fear the change that comes with it.

What Is Success, Anyway?

Let’s pause here. What even is success?

Is it the money? The recognition? The shiny, brag-worthy life?

For a long time, I thought it was. As a magazine editor, I was flying business class, staying at luxury hotels, getting treated like I was someone important. And honestly? There were moments I loved it. But there were also moments I felt completely disconnected from myself. Because the version of success I was living didn’t feel real to me—it felt like I was performing someone else’s dream.

“Success is being fully me, without shrinking or stretching to fit anyone else’s mould. It’s waking up with peace in my chest. It’s creating things that feel true. It’s feeling free.”

When I stepped away from that world, I thought maybe success meant running my own business. So I became a full-time florist, arranging 40 bouquets in a day, making deliveries in the rain. I thought this was the real deal—the humble entrepreneur story. But even then, something didn’t click.

It wasn’t until I started shedding all these identities—editor, entrepreneur, good wife, stepmom, daughter—that I realised success isn’t something I could chase. It’s something I needed to define for myself.

And what I’ve come to believe is this: Success is being fully me, without shrinking or stretching to fit anyone else’s mould. It’s waking up with peace in my chest. It’s creating things that feel true. It’s feeling free.

Could You Be Afraid of Success Without Knowing It?

Here’s the kicker: you might be afraid of success and not even realise it. So let’s do a little digging.

Signs you might be afraid of success:

1. You downplay your wins. You brush off compliments, avoid celebrating your achievements, or feel like you’re “not there yet,” even when you are.

2. You procrastinate when things are almost ready. You do all the prep, but freeze just before the launch, the ask, the next step.

3. You set goals, but they feel vague. You say you want something, but you’re not clear on what it really looks like or how it would change your life.

4. You fear being seen. Visibility feels uncomfortable, like success would put a spotlight on you that you don’t want.

5. You think: “What if I can’t sustain it?” Success feels like a pressure cooker. If you get there, can you keep it up?

6. You avoid opportunities that stretch you. You say no to things you actually want, because they feel “too big.”

7. You believe success comes with sacrifice. Somewhere in you, there’s a script that says you can’t have it all—you’ll have to give up something precious.

My Personal Fear of Success

Here’s where I’ll be honest: I’ve felt this fear.

When I started building Aweness, there were days I hesitated to reach out for support, to ask for venues, sponsorships, collaborations. I thought I had to have everything perfect before I could take up space. I put people who had money or connections on pedestals, thinking they had the power to make or break my vision.

“The old version of success I’d been conditioned to chase wasn’t mine. My success isn’t flashy. It’s not about being everywhere. It’s about being here, grounded, connected, and true.”

But the truth was—they didn’t. I was the one giving away my power. And the moment I spoke up, asked, and got a “yes” from them? Something inside me shifted. The fear shrunk. The power dynamic dissolved. Because I realised I wasn’t asking for charity—I was offering something valuable, something alive.

And more than that, I had to admit that the old version of success I’d been conditioned to chase wasn’t mine. My success isn’t flashy. It’s not about being everywhere. It’s about being here, grounded, connected, and true.

Where This Fear Comes From

A lot of us have been conditioned to believe that success = stress. Or that it changes people. Or that it puts you in the spotlight for criticism. Maybe you’ve seen someone “make it” and then lose themselves, burn out, or fall apart. And your subconscious went, “Nope, not doing that.”

Or maybe you’ve always been the underdog, the quiet one, the safe one—and success would mean rewriting your whole story. That’s a big ask.

What To Do When You Spot It

1. Acknowledge it without shame. Fear of success is normal. It means you care. It means you’re about to grow.

2. Redefine what success means for you. Maybe it’s not millions or fame. Maybe it’s alignment, peace, flow, freedom. Success on your terms won’t feel scary—it’ll feel right.

3. Take one small action. Just one. Success doesn’t need to be a leap. It can be a step, done consistently. Momentum melts fear.

4. Visualise holding success with ease. Not as a burden, but as something that supports you, uplifts you, matches your energy.

5. Talk to it. Yep, have a conversation. “Hey fear, I see you. Thanks for trying to protect me. But I’m good now.”

Here’s the Real Truth

Success isn’t about doing more. It’s about becoming more of who you really are. And that’s what makes it scary. But also, so worth it.

So if you’ve been stuck, stalled, or “almost ready” for way too long, maybe it’s not fear of failing. Maybe it’s fear of flying.

And if that’s you, here’s a reminder: you can handle the heights.