From Uncertainty to Transformation: Learning to Live in the In-Betweens

We are taught to celebrate beginnings and endings. The new job, the wedding, the baby. The breakup, the resignation, the closure. Milestones are easy to mark because they are clear. What no one teaches us is how to live in the in-betweens—the messy, unpolished stretches where nothing is certain and everything feels like it’s dissolving.

I’ve been there more times than I can count. The in-betweens look like leaving a career you outgrew without knowing what’s next. They feel like sitting across from a partner you still love, wondering if you’ve both changed too much. They sound like the quiet sigh you release when someone asks, “So, what are you doing now?” and you don’t quite have an answer.

“The world isn’t built for the in-betweens. We’re conditioned to explain ourselves neatly, to package our stories in before-and-after arcs. But real life is far more ambiguous. ”

The world isn’t built for the in-betweens. We’re conditioned to explain ourselves neatly, to package our stories in before-and-after arcs. But real life is far more ambiguous. Growth rarely looks like a straight line. It looks like detours, half-finished sketches, and moments where you want to run back to what you know, even if it no longer fits.

At The Aweness Table, the in-betweens have shown up again and again. Guests have spoken about divorces not yet finalised, businesses not yet profitable, identities not yet defined. What strikes me most is how much relief there is in naming these states aloud. To say: I don’t have it all figured out—and still be accepted. To admit: I’m in transition—and feel others nod in resonance. These aren’t stories with a tidy bow, but they are the truest ones.

The in-betweens matter because they’re where we learn to trust ourselves. Without the external validation of achievement or resolution, we’re left with the raw stuff: our fears, our desires, our intuition. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but also fertile. The seeds of who we’re becoming are planted in this ambiguity.

I think back to when I shifted from being a magazine editor to running a floral business, and later, to founding Aweness. Each pivot looked dramatic from the outside, but the truth is, there were long stretches of in-between—times when I felt invisible, unmoored, uncertain. What I know now is that those spaces were not wasted. They were shaping me, sanding me down, forcing me to shed identities I no longer needed.

“There’s nothing wrong with not having the answer yet. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is hold the tension of not-knowing, and let ourselves be shaped by it.”

It’s tempting to rush through the in-betweens. To slap on a label, make a hasty decision, force an outcome just so the discomfort ends. But when we do that, we cut short the depth of transformation. The in-betweens teach patience. They teach surrender. They remind us that uncertainty is not failure—it’s possibility in disguise.

If you’re in the in-between right now, I hope you know this: you are not alone. There’s nothing wrong with not having the answer yet. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is hold the tension of not-knowing, and let ourselves be shaped by it.

Because one day, without fanfare, you’ll wake up and realise you’ve crossed into the next chapter. And you’ll look back at the in-betweens not as wasted time, but as the quiet, holy ground that made everything possible.